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HomeResponsible gamblingIf you’re worried about a loved one’s gambling
A guide for family and friends

If you’re worried about a loved one’s gambling

Problem gambling never concerns only the gambler — it reaches the family’s finances, trust and daily life. This page is for you: how to recognise the signs, how to start the conversation without confrontation and how to protect yourself and get support.

Kõige olulisem kõigepealt: sina ei ole lähedase mängimises süüdi ega saa seda üksi "ära parandada". Küll aga saad palju ära teha — märgata, toetada ja suunata abi juurde ning kaitsta vahepeal enda heaolu ja rahaasju.

Nõuandeliin 15410 nõustab tasuta ka pereliikmeid ja sõpru. Sa ei pea ootama, kuni mängija ise abi otsib.

Help for loved ones too — free and anonymousNõustaja aitab läbi mõelda, kuidas vestlust alustada ja mida enda kaitseks teha.
Notice

Signs to watch for in a loved one

Ükski märk üksi ei tõesta probleemi. Muster — mitu märki koos ja korduvalt — on põhjus rääkida.

Money vanishes unexplained — bills go unpaid, savings shrink, payday loans appear.

Secrecy — the phone is hidden, bank statements are avoided, the extent of gambling is lied about.

Their mood swings — irritability, anxiety or apathy, especially after gambling sessions.

Loss of interest — work, hobbies and family take a back seat, time disappears behind a screen.

Borrowing and selling — things go missing, money is asked for to cover "unexpected costs".

Promises don’t hold — "the last time" repeats, losses are chased with ever bigger stakes.

Talk

How to start the conversation

Eesmärk ei ole süüdlast leida, vaid uks lahti teha. Vali rahulik hetk — mitte vahetult pärast kaotust või tüli.

Do this

  • Räägi enda vaatest: „Ma olen märganud…“, „Ma muretsen…“
  • Kirjelda konkreetseid olukordi, mitte üldistusi
  • Kuula lõpuni — ka siis, kui vastus on eitav
  • Paku konkreetset järgmist sammu: enesetest või kõne 15410

Avoid

  • Süüdistusi ja silte („sa oled sõltlane“)
  • Ultimaatumeid, mida sa ei kavatse täita
  • Võlgade vaikimisi kinnimaksmist — see pikendab probleemi
Protect yourself

Family finances and your wellbeing

Abi pakkumine ei tähenda enda ohvriks toomist. Need sammud hoiavad sinu ja pere igapäevaelu töös.

Set aside your essential bills

Route housing, utilities and children’s costs to an account the gambler can’t access. For a joint account, discuss limits with the bank.

Don’t pay off gambling debts by default

Clearing a debt without an agreement removes the consequence and delays seeking help. If you help, do it with a written plan and conditions.

Encourage self-exclusion

A person can add themselves to the HAMPI register only on their own — you can make it easy: sit down together and submit the application via eesti.ee.

Take care of yourself

A loved one’s role is draining. Counselling, support groups and your own friends aren’t a luxury — they keep you standing as a supporter.

Good to know: our anonymous self-test helps you see the pattern more clearly too — the questions describe behaviour to watch for in a loved one. The test can also be offered to the gambler themselves.

Where to get help

Support for loved ones in Estonia

Kõik allolev on tasuta ja konfidentsiaalne — ka siis, kui mängija ise (veel) abi ei taha.

Helpline 15410

Nõustab ka pereliikmeid · iga päev

Talk the situation through with a counsellor: how to start the conversation, what to do about money and how to cope yourself.

Visit 15410.ee

Support groups for loved ones

Anonüümne · kogemuspõhine

Talking with others in the same situation takes away shame and loneliness. You’ll find group info through the counselling centre.

Find a support group

HAMPI self-exclusion

Maksu- ja Tolliamet

A state restriction that closes access to all Estonian-licensed casinos. Only the gambler can submit the application — help them take that step.

See the EMTA guidance

Gambling self-test

9 küsimust · anonüümne

A PGSI-based test you can offer to a gambler — or take yourself to assess the situation more clearly. Answers are not stored.

Open the self-test
Frequently asked questions

Loved-one FAQ

Can I close a loved one’s casino accounts myself?
No — only the person themselves can manage the account and HAMPI self-exclusion. Your role is to encourage and make the step easy: sit down together and submit the application jointly.
Are my spouse’s gambling debts my debts?
As a rule the person who took the debt is liable, but with joint property and joint accounts the impact can reach the family. In a more complex situation it’s worth seeking legal advice — a 15410 counsellor can also point you in the right direction.
The player denies the problem. What to do?
Denial is a common first reaction. Stick to specific observations, keep the door open and at the same time set your own limits (money, lies). A counsellor can help you word what to say — call 15410 even without the gambler.
Should I pay off their debts?
By default no — removing the consequences delays seeking help. If you decide to help, do it with a written agreement tied to seeking help (e.g. attending counselling, HAMPI).
How to protect children and everyday expenses?
Route standing payments and children’s costs to an account the gambler can’t access, and keep your savings separate. The bank can help with limits and alerts.

You don’t have to carry it alone

Nõustamine on tasuta ja konfidentsiaalne ka lähedasele. Esimene kõne ei kohusta millekski.